Me and my brother had a trio of gerbils. One of them died from depression. He was in the same cage as the others, he was treated with love like the others, he just stopped eating and died.

The other two didn’t give a single fuck.

Is that Hugh Laurie?

“Sir, your orb is leaking.”

“That boy is a straight-shooter with middle management written all over him.”

What about the R.O.U.S.?

“Stupid Smarch weather.”

I love that US regression is causing everyone else to become more progressive out of spite.

That’s a surfboard.

The Elementary class’ teacher was particularly angry.

Shit like this is why Garfield makes me laugh out loud. As a kid, and just now.

Brace yourselves, next year Rogue One turns 10.

Now I have Good Charlotte playing in my head.

At first I was worried that it would difficult to get certain American merchandise in Japan. Then I realized American merchandise originates from China so it’s all good.

Emergency? Nah, Northern Lights!

Angry & horny = Limp Bizkit

The Cranberries are way hornier than that.

Eats a mint to offset onion breath.

His eyes look like something is flying directly towards his face, like this ancient meme:

“As soon as I figure out which one of you is real, I will kill you!”

Mueller?