Andrew (R.S Admin) is a user on retro.social. You can follow them or interact with them if you have an account anywhere in the fediverse.

I'm having a harder than normal time focusing. I can't bring my thoughts in to order or dedicate my energy on the things that are important to me for longer than short bursts of activity.

This is not a Big Long Term problem, this is a small, right now problem. I can solve this problem with focus and discipline, or with a vacation, or with the support of my coconspirators.

Andrew (R.S Admin) @ajroach42

I'm restless. That's really all there is to it. I'm not sleeping well, and I'm worried about the future (not my future, which is well in hand at the moment, but *our* future.)

@ajroach42 Maybe try some jumping jacks and nice low key marijuana? Also hug a teddy bear or dolly? Our futures depends on good sleepy time.

@Shufei I couldn't read "dolly" as like "doll-y" and was picturing like, a hand-truck or wooden platform with casters and was very confused because the whole rest of the post was sound advice. @ajroach42

@emsenn @ajroach42 If hugging your handcart brings you comfort and joy, then go for it. 🙆🏽‍♀️

They are fun to scoot around on.

@Shufei I have grown to be fairly physically active of late. I don't do drugs, even light stuff leaves me in a bad space for several days.

@ajroach42 maybe take yourself a break and lose your self in some music for a bit, recharge the go juices within? I know I'm beat and that's about all I've got left in me for the day, most likely.

@djsundog please don’t talk about @ajroach42’s internal juices.

@djsundog I definitely haven't been listening to enough music, or writing enough, or doing any of the things that relax me, usually.

I've just been Going.

I need to Go a little less.

When I ran Analog Revolution, we did a weekly meeting of our writers and artists.

I used that time to make an agenda of our current projects, to delegate, to plan, prioritize, brainstorm.

A lot of it was just Ryan and I shouting at one another in half sentence, too excitedly.

We used this time to manufacture things, to plan for the future, to write, to record, to listen to music, to eat pizza and be a community with one another.

I miss that. It's possible that re-establishing this kind of an on going, regular gathering (physically or digitally!) with a focus on The Work, and The People, with an energy half way between a classroom lecture and a wild party would be valuable in helping me feel less drifting and directionless.

At the very least, I know that I need collaborators, coconspirators.

People that I am responsible to, people who are helping move the projects along, people who's projects I can help move along. A network of mutual support.

@ajroach42 I am here for pragmatic moral support and let's say "campaign orientation" where I can help amp you up about how your work plays into the larger efforts we're all making, but can also say I'm not here for putting in the hours on any of your projects they're all just outside my skillset <3

@ajroach42 also you should try growing sprouts a steady diet of fresh greens probably can't hurt a fall mood eh?

(I've been getting really consistently good batches growing so am on a big "everyone should do this thing i'm enjoying!" binge right now.)

@emsenn I'm down, I'll look in to growing sprouts.

@emsenn I expect that my projects fall within the scope of your skill set more often than you'd expect, but mostly those would be the projects that fall outside the more important stuff.

I appreciate the moral support, in any case.

@ajroach42 I'm much worse at computers than my posts would have you believe! :D

@emsenn Barely a quarter of what I'm working on is computer centric.

Most of it is writing, recording, editing, etc.

@ajroach42 my creative labor is selfishly all mine :( it's like the thing i'm most selfish about probably

But, I appreciate you highlighting that because I always forget how fucking prolific you are with those projects

@emsenn :-D I make a lot of things, yeah. and I'm just at a weird crossroads where many of my projects are in the boring slog stage, and very few of them are in the New Fun stage or the Almost Finished Fun stage.

There's just a lot of nose down doing work stuff, and when I look at my todo list I get a little overwhelmed.

@ajroach42 y'know I kinda stumbled into it but I'm stumbling into a kinda seasonal approach to projects. Fall seems to be for cleaning up my recordkeeping and website and doing stuff related to that, winter is for graphic, audio, and music production, and spring is for focusing on one big project, like my MUD engine or my fantasy world. And the summer is for the unending slog of building maintenance; my dayjob.

I know you can't do the same but my point was to say 1/n lol

@ajroach42 that for a while now I've just not touched certain projects for MONTHS and it's been totally fine so if I were you I'd say maybe get myopic about your todo list and yea, keep your nose down, do what needs to be done, and don't worry about how you're progressing through the liist as a whole. <3

@ajroach42 *makes happy horn toot of volunteering* Want to be mutual accountability buddies? I have a novel I gotta edit.

Also depending on what you need to help move your project along at any given point, I might be able to help!

@hummingrain I'm on board with that. Lets talk about how we'll make that happen.

@ajroach42 I don't know if I'll ever have the spoons for real creative writing but my offer still stands about recording

I'm gonna set up my sound equipment in my new home to record a podcast for my friend, that will be in about a month or so.

@68km Remind me about your offer about recording?

@ajroach42 if you have anything written and you need more voices, I'll have somewhat of a studio and can record it.

@ajroach42 sorry my toot was really in reply to what you said to emsenn here about "writing, recording, editing" retro.social/@ajroach42/102901

@68km Oh! Neat!

Right now the thing I'm struggling with the most is editing. I just don't have a good routine for editing.

I mean, I'll have things written to be recorded very soon too, but I'm not there yet.

@ajroach42 i used to be a writing consultant (academic writing tutor) in school, I'm a few years rusty now and didn't have much experience with creative writing but if you can tell me

"here is my writing, here are the concerns I'm having with it right now" or "here are some of the things I'm trying to make sure are going on with the writing" I can provide workshop-style feedback

you might have other folks in your circle that are better equipped than me for your needs but i'm here if you want

@68km Oh, sorry, I meant audio editing (and maybe eventually video editing.)

I mean, writing editing is always useful too, but in this case I am struggling with an editing routine for my audio files.

hey this offer goes out to other people too. (boosts welcome)

actually if you're a trying to get better grades on your (neither of those tags are gonna reach this audience lol) and you wanna hit me up, maybe we can work something out.

but also, I highly recommend your writing center if your school has one

@ajroach42 well, i wanna finish my atari 2600 game, first!

i also wanna get started on my dreamcast shenmue let's play!

@dirtycommo You're writing a 2600 game? That's awesome. Can you tell me more about it?

@ajroach42 i use a 24 bit random number generator to calculate a 256 x 256 screen world on the fly, allowing a kind of open world experience, within a 32KiB ROM, and obviously within the 128 byte RAM constraints of the console :-)

i took a lot of inspiration from River Raid, and got a little help from over at atariage.com

me and my mate at uni are gonna finish it, but i have to teach him 6502 ASM first lol!

it's in a private gitlab repo on 0xacab.org at the moment, but i just can't be bothered looking at it right now...

it seems we also have a lot of the same interests! you should look at my blog!

bootlicker.party :-)

@dirtycommo Neat! That's a clever way to do psudo open world.

What's the game play like?

@ajroach42 I'm best in the medium of software, but I'm keen to support you (and anyone else) however I can!

I'm quite keen to take on the role of a critic!

@alcinnz I appreciate the offer.

What are you most interested in?

@ajroach42 Honestly, I don't know.

I've seen my share of behind-the-scenes documentaries, and as such I *think* I have decent idea of what's involved. But I don't know which of them I particularly want to do.

Any recommendations?

@alcinnz lemme sleep on it, and then I'll shoot off a list of what I have and what I need.

@alcinnz Okay, this took longer to put together than I expected.

Here's a rough list of all my current projects, their status, and their next actions:

... This is too long to send as microblog posts. I'm going to post it on my website and share a link with you. Give me a second.

@alcinnz I changed my mind again. Is there an email address Ic an use to send this to?

@ajroach42 I've found organizing these kinds of gatherings really hard, post-college. Maybe it's just the people I meet to write with, but people tend to override the meetup for other things on their schedule, or don't really focus on The Work, and/or we just don't have enough people to reach the critical mass needed to feel like a real community thing where it's okay for a couple people to miss any given week.

Not sure how to overcome that yet.

@hummingrain I mean, it helped that we had a Big Group of people we were working with, and that there would always be at least two of there on wednesday nights.

Some meetings were only three or four people, but many others had so many we had to split in to smaller groups.